CAREER DEVELOPMENT, GOALS, SUCCESS UNIVERSITY

Privacy and Your Preteen

 

Should you ‘spy’ on your kids?

There is a growing debate surrounding this question. Today, mass media makes it hard to control what influences your child imbibes. In addition, technology provides the world countless ways of reaching your child. Beyond telephones and snail mail, now they have cellphones, email, instant messaging and the internet! We parents can’t help but be concerned about just what our children are up to.

Now, reconcile this with your preteen. If you have a child between the ages of nine and twelve, you must be feeling the challenges of preteen parenting. Suddenly, your child doesn’t want to be treated like her younger siblings. She wants more independence, and is beginning to ask for more privacy. She is greatly influenced by her peers, and would like to spend as much time with them as possible. If she’s in middle school, then almost half of her waking time is spent outside your home. She’s also building friendships with other kids that you didn’t know from before.

All those years before, you carefully molded and prepared your child for engaging the world on her own. Now, the preteen years are here for a test run. The question is, are you ready to trust your child?

Most parents say, "I trust my child, but I don’t trust the world". That’s valid. Your first concern is always for her safety. However, recognize too that your child is also blossoming into her own person. Her request for privacy is not necessarily a step away from you. Rather, it is a step toward her own growth. As her parent, you want that for her too, right?

So, how much privacy does your preteen deserve? Here’s the win-win answer. She should have just enough privacy to feel secure, and just enough for you to keep her safe.

Set the non-negotiables. Sit down with your child and talk about the balance between her privacy and her protection. Together, list down details which you both agree are always important for you to know. This includes knowing who her friends are, where they live and what their telephone numbers are (especially if she spends time in their house). You’ll also need to know everyday details like where she’s going and who she’ll be with. Clearly establish what is not allowed from the outset. This can vary from one family to another, depending on personal values and the environment.

Sit down with your child and talk about the balance between her privacy and her protection. Together, list down details which you both agree are always important for you to know. This includes knowing who her friends are, where they live and what their telephone numbers are (especially if she spends time in their house). You’ll also need to know everyday details like where she’s going and who she’ll be with. Clearly establish what is not allowed from the outset. This can vary from one family to another, depending on personal values and the environment.

Give her space. However ironic, realize that your preteen still needs some privacy even if she does live in your house. If it’s not a non-negotiable, respect her space. Better to give her room for self-expression there, rather than having her go and do it somewhere else away from you. At least there, you’re kept aware even from a distance. More often than not anyway, your child has nothing to hide. But if she feels you constantly looking over her shoulder (literally and figuratively), she just might start leaving her journal at school, or begin going to a friend’s house for the internet. Don’t give her a reason to keep things from you deliberately.

. However ironic, realize that your preteen still needs some privacy even if she live in your house. If it’s not a non-negotiable, respect her space. Better to give her room for self-expression there, rather than having her go and do it somewhere else away from you. At least there, you’re kept aware even from a distance. More often than not anyway, your child has nothing to hide. But if she feels you constantly looking over her shoulder (literally and figuratively), she just might start leaving her journal at school, or begin going to a friend’s house for the internet. Don’t give her a reason to keep things from you deliberately.

Talk about trust. Discuss with your child the important role of mutual trust in the preteen stage. Point out that privacy is protected by trust. Remind her too that trust is hard earned. Once it’s broken, it’s even harder to regain. Lastly, remember that the point of this discussion is mutual trust. It’s a two-way street.

Discuss with your child the important role of mutual trust in the preteen stage. Point out that privacy is protected by trust. Remind her too that trust is hard earned. Once it’s broken, it’s even harder to regain. Lastly, remember that the point of this discussion is trust. It’s a two-way street.

If you sneak around reading your child’s email, think about the message that sends to her on how trust should be valued.

Be open. Most importantly, let your child know that she can talk to you about anything. Make her feel secure to approach you with any problem or concern. Create an open atmosphere where she can be honest with you without fear of being judged. When she does talk, listen neutrally and sincerely. If at other times she keeps her emotions to herself, respect that choice too.

Most importantly, let your child know that she can talk to you about anything. Make her feel secure to approach you with any problem or concern. Create an open atmosphere where she can be honest with you without fear of being judged. When she does talk, listen neutrally and sincerely. If at other times she keeps her emotions to herself, respect that choice too.

Recognizing the privacy and ensuring the safety of your preteen can be quite an emotional balancing act. With good communication however, and a mutual commitment to trust, you’ll not only be a responsible parent, but a ‘cool’ one too!

 

 

 

- Leon Edward

 

Leon Edward helps people improve in Career Development, Goal Setting, Leadership, Success, Motivation, Self-Improvement, Happiness, Memory Improvement, Stress Reduction and more through his articles, blogs, reports and self-help success roladex-on-line. Visit his Success-Leadership Library, Articles  at http://www.AwesomeSuccess.org

Leon Edward also helps people improve  IQ, focus, memory, concentration, creativity, speed reading, public speaking , time management and reducing stress.
Download his IQ Mind Brain Memory Self-Help library at his website http://www.IQMindBrainLibrary.com

FREE Identity Theft Prevention Checklist

Leon Edward provides information online on identity theft prevention and FREE Identity Theft Prevention Checklist at his website http://www.PreventIdentityTheftFraud.com

Subconscious Programming | Home Based Business Ideas |  Focus on the Family Blog

Posted by Leon Edward at 12:48 PM | Permalink

 

Everyone has an image to take care of. Whether you like it or not, people will often scrutinize your looks. If you want to create your image, decide now! You can stand by and improve your own image or be a shadow of someone else. Many people shy away because they are so conscious of their appearance. Here are just five simple steps on how to enhance your image and to build the must have self confidence.

1. Feel good about yourself. Positive thinking is a good enhancer of personality. Nothing compares to an aura of self contentment and serenity. Shyness is developed by negative thoughts that others are far better than you. Stop that nonsense and start appreciating yourself. Look at the mirror every morning and say to yourself "You are a beautiful creation of God!"

2. Positive image starts in you. A good character is admirable and gives you credibility. Live harmoniously and be at peace with everyone. How can you project a positive image if your real life doesn’t say so? You can really feel shameful if you have criminal records. The real idea of an enhanced image is brought about by living decently.

3. Appearance. Good looking and fashionable people are the ones who get more attention from the audience. Being shy can also be a product of not so being confident on how you look in front of people. To enhance your image, you may want to consider these points relative to your appearance:

• Clean body that comes with clothes. Be sure that you are clean from head to toe. Hygiene and proper grooming are important aspects in image enhancement. Putting on that clean apparel from top to bottom can give you an edge in any occasions. Making sure that your body and what you’re wearing are neat will help you feel secure about yourself and your appearance.

• Proper color coordination. Be careful on what you wear as this can be a mirror of your personality. Combination of colors should be perfect. Neck ties should be matched with your inner shirt; belts and shoes should have the same color.

• Put on the right make up. Woman should always be conscious about her make up. Any color will do for fair skinned while light shades of purple and pink goes with dark skinned women. Choosing the right lipstick should also be a priority.

• Clean cut hair. You wouldn’t want to look like a rock star over a corporate meeting. Make sure that your hair is well trimmed and that it doesn’t cover your face.

4. Gaining a positive image will also be incorporated in your movements and ease in front of a crowd. You should develop eye contact and facial expressions appropriate to certain circumstances. Smiling is one sure way of gaining some people’s trust. This can also involve the proper actuations in a social gathering. Etiquette is necessary to develop your presence in any events.

5. Seek the help of a professional image enhancer. There are also certain books which will help you with the information on how to develop your image and do away with shyness. You can invest on these things to make sure that you are properly guided.

Enhancing your image is one good way of overcoming your shyness. It can boost your self confidence knowing that you appear respectable and neat in front of anyone. Positive image can spell success thus it should always be cultivated.

 

- Leon Edward

 

Leon Edward helps people improve in Career Development, Goal Setting, Leadership, Success, Motivation, Self-Improvement, Happiness, Memory Improvement, Stress Reduction and more through his articles, blogs, reports and self-help success roladex-on-line. Visit his Success-Leadership Library, Articles  at http://www.AwesomeSuccess.org

Leon Edward also helps people improve  IQ, focus, memory, concentration, creativity, speed reading, public speaking , time management and reducing stress.
Download his IQ Mind Brain Memory Self-Help library at his website http://www.IQMindBrainLibrary.com

FREE Identity Theft Prevention Checklist

Leon Edward provides information online on identity theft prevention and FREE Identity Theft Prevention Checklist at his website http://www.PreventIdentityTheftFraud.com

Subconscious Programming | Home Based Business Ideas |  Focus on the Family Blog

Posted by Leon Edward at 04:27 AM | Permalink

When you’re stuck in traffic, it’s so easy to just lose your top and rail at the car in front of you, the car behind you, the cars on either side, those near the traffic lights… you get the picture.

 

Anger is so easy to ignite, and so hard to defuse. It is the most destructive of emotions, and one of the hardest to handle. Anger has led to physical violence, property destruction, and other damage that has ranged in severity from the disappointing to the devastating. Anger is the undercurrent that envelops domestic violence that leads to divorce, and it is the driving force of terrorism.

 

While these might lead you to believe that anger is too dangerous to toy with, that suppression is the only answer, let me tell you that it is NOT healthy. Suppressed anger leads to cardiovascular disease. Medical research has found evidence that those people who suppress their anger, don’t deal with it, and seethe inside, are at an elevated risk for coronary heart disease.

 

So what is to be done with anger, then? Deal with it.

Yes, you heard me, deal with it.

Now while some therapists use a rubber-coated bat and a pillow or a punching bag to allow their clients to release their anger on inanimate objects, there is a more docile way to deal with anger. Self-talk.

It is so simple to use actually. When you feel your temper rising and the conflict escalating, stop. Breathe. And walk away.

When you do, but your mind still races with intense, knotted emotions, this is the time to do self-talk. When you start cursing the one who offended you, stop. Restructure what you just thought and say it out loud in more rational terms. Instead of, "That idiot just ruined my day! Speeding! Thanks to him I have a dented door!" think about why that person was speeding. Maybe he was hurrying to get to the hospital because his wife is in labor. Say, out loud to yourself your theory why the guy was speeding.

Instead of, "She just had to spill ketchup on me! Now look! My silk blouse needs to go to the cleaners!" try to think of reasons why your offender was clumsy. "Maybe she was working for 24 hours straight. Maybe that’s why her coordination’s not so good."

Always reframe your thoughts in a proactive way. In a way that you take charge of the situation and not stand there like a victim, gaping and sputtering all your indignation at someone who just may have had as bad a day as you.

Remember what I echoed from the findings of medical experts. With every second your face gets redder, you are bound to harm your body and your relationships. Anger is definitely not worth the havoc it wreaks.

 - Leon Edward

 

Leon Edward helps people improve in Career Development, Goal Setting, Leadership, Success, Motivation, Self-Improvement, Happiness, Memory Improvement, Stress Reduction and more through his articles, blogs, reports and self-help success roladex-on-line. Visit his Success-Leadership Library, Articles  at http://www.AwesomeSuccess.org

Leon Edward also helps people improve  IQ, focus, memory, concentration, creativity, speed reading, public speaking , time management and reducing stress.
Download his IQ Mind Brain Memory Self-Help library at his website http://www.IQMindBrainLibrary.com

FREE Identity Theft Prevention Checklist

Leon Edward provides information online on identity theft prevention and FREE Identity Theft Prevention Checklist at his website http://www.PreventIdentityTheftFraud.com

Subconscious Programming | Home Based Business Ideas |  Focus on the Family Blog

Posted by Leon Edward at 05:12 AM | Permalink